Jayem

Forgiveness

Response from Jayem:

Thank you for writing, Cathy. Your question(s) are of course, very human, very universal; we all must come to ask them IF we want to heal and grow. First, I want to acknowledge you for the FIRST STEP: taking 100% ownership via self-honesty that these feelings/perceptions are about YOU. That you recognize you are having trouble 'getting past it', is what compels you to seek help: precisely what we ALL need to do: seek and be willing to receive, true help, while EGO denies the need for it, since it is always 'right' about its perceptions!

Here are key steps in the journey to wholeness:

1. Do NOT seek to move 'past it', for this reveals both your discomfort with what IS, AND the presence of a subtle judgement OF it.

Rather, ask:

What, truly, am I feeling, right now? And WHERE do I notice it in my body?

(we discover that hurt, blockage, etc ALWAYS have a specific location, because we have learned to use the body in order to repress, deny, hold old pain.)

2. Can I take a breath there?

(Breath is KEY to real healing, as WHEN trauma arises, the first thing we do is stop, change, or hold the breath, creating neural pathways and pathways through the body.

Designed to keep the feeling of trauma at bay. Yet, we become split and non-whole because we have interrupted the energy cycle. It could be sadness, fear, or I suspect in your case, degrees of anger. You may have learned that you are to be 'good', to endure, and to not fully feel and express anger and, IF it gets activated, get it in check, fast!)

3. Once the feeling that is really there is contacted, and given breath and allowed to be felt fully, you are ready for the next step:

4. What belief is anchoring this energy?

5. It can be helpful to make it as a statement: 'The belief I hold that anchors this is ________________.

Here, simply observe what arises in the mind, since it is really MIND - not the ex-husband - that causes the problem, which, as you know, ends up keeping us in a sort of prison!

6. Next, ask yourself:  How do I want it to be, now? How do I want to feel and move in my life?

Give your body and breath freedom to contact it, and let the body move about the room the way you WANT it, now. This helps the body mind anchor a sense of energy flow that mobilizes you.

Ask: IF this is what I want, what are specific choices and actions I can engage every day?

7. Finally, if you are REALLY DEVOTED to using all things to deepen awareness and grow in CHrist Mind, ask:

- I wonder what I was seeking when I chose to enter this relationship?

- What secret requirements of my ex was I insisting he fulfill?

- What was I seeking to AVOID in my own growth as Soul?

- What did I learn, truly, via this experience that may have been difficult to learn any other way?

These kinds of questions will lead to deeper 'seeing' into the dynamics by which we generate experience, and call in certain beings to fulfill certain roles.

As this occurs, it becomes impossible to hold on to judgement of others. Indeed, we feel only compassion, and great gratitude and humility.

Palpable Forgiveness provides a precious and rare environment totally devoted to the deepest healing and widest possible growth in the shortest amount of time! It is, simply, life-changing; the very momentum of Soul is freed, forever. If you can't make it in May, yes, simply coming to the ashram for any period of time, where it's not just me, but others who have already immersed in PF, and thus immerse in the context of support and single minded devotion is incredible...you are welcome any time!

Blessings,

Jayem